Brownfools Sales
Here at Brownfools we like to hear what our customers think. After all we wouldn't want them telling anyone else!
So here are some comments from someone gullible enough to have purchased a Motorgroan from Brownfools
Choice
"Although Brownfools do offer a reasonable choice of motorgroans at their flagshit site, Brownfools of Screwup, Lots, for real choice you need to visit one of the major shows.
"When we decided to buy our first motorgroan we researched the specifications of all the current models using the buyers guide in Motorgroan Monthly magazine. By striking out those models that did not meet our requirements we arrived at our first shortlist. We then went to various shows to see and compare these models, eliminating those that failed to inspire us and thus whittling down our shopping list.
"We felt that we were very well organized in our choices. And so we were. But, evaluating the market should include choosing your dealer as carefully as your motorgroan. Did we choose well?"
Friendly, helpful staff
"Our 'shortlist' that had started life with 41 options was down to seven by the time we entered the Earls Court show in the second half of 2000. Three hours later we had relegated four of these to the status of 'also-rans'. Of the remainder, we had seen a Benimar Sport 2C which was wonderful, but the wait for delivery was ludicrously long and we regretfully decided that this ruled it out of contention. The McLouis 460 really impressed and it looked like our search was at an end. But, there was still one vehicle to see. This was a Hymer 554 and was to be found on the Brownfools stand.
"I am one of those people who, in my leisure time, cannot be bothered to 'dress to impress'. So, it was my partner, our young son and a slightly worn looking middle-aged me who trouped between the large collection of leisure vehicles that ringed the Brownfools stand. We fell under the gaze of a tall, thin, suited man who assumed the air of a nightclub bouncer as he blocked our path and asked, with of air of please leave now before I have you escorted from the premises, if he could help us. He looked ever so slightly thrown off guard when I asked if the '544' was available to view, and led us, almost begrudgingly, to the vehicle concerned.
"The missus is slightly deaf and, as a result, lip reads quite well and did not appreciate him sharing his jaundiced view of us with a fellow salesman as we were boarding the Hymer. Somehow this vehicle managed to emanate the same frostiness as the man that we would forever refer to as the 'Ironing Board' and we quickly decided that it was not for us. Job Done? Not quite.
"As we exited the 544 the Ironing Board asked us some mundane question that came across as 'will you stop wasting my time so I can spend more time with the fat wallets'. I smiled and thanked him, while drawing a line through 'Hymer 544' on our shopping list, then, with the satisfaction of a search completed, I took pleasure in regaling the Ironing Board with the briefest possible summary of our selection process before informing him that we were now off to see Steve Parsons on the Don Amott stand to buy a McLouis.
"The Ironing Board glanced at the printed list, with its handwritten comments and prices that I held and instantly metamorphosed into a different person. Suddenly there was a hospitality area. Could he get us drinks? Help yourself to snacks. And could he please see the page that detailed our criteria. After examination of which he, of course, had just the thing that we were looking for.
"And the trouble was....he had!"
Value
"The Hymer 524 never made our original shortlist. And, as we were shown around the emptied 'van (the Ironing Board had a presence that would clear a vehicle of people in microseconds) I wondered why not. I studied the specs and it ticked all the right boxes. I was forced to ask him. He played his trump card. Price! Although the list price was above the ceiling that we had budgeted for, the special deal available at the show brought it within our target range. There were now two contenders for the family motorgroan.
"After much back and forth between the two stands (the offers from Brownfools improving with each return) the 524 won the battle for our minds and our money. A deal was struck, options and extras were agreed on and a delivery date was set.
"With hindsight we can appreciate that true bargains can only be obtained where two or more dealers are in direct competition for a sale. Only at a show do the conditions for this exist, with just a few strides separating dealerships."
Delivery
"The delivery date was missed - by some margin. But, eventually there was a phone call to say that the vehicle had arrived - and another to say that there was a problem.
"We had found the access between the 524 coachbuilt and the Fiat cab to be too restrictive. Our chosen solution was to specify a swivel drivers seat as a dealer fitted extra. This had the added advantage of bringing the drivers seat into play in the living area. Brownfools chosen swivel seat base added considerably to the height of the seat. So much so that Brownfools staff rang to ask how tall I was, expressing doubts that I would still be able to see out of the windscreen. Brownfools site in Screwup Lottinghamshire is some way from our abode in South East England, so I did not relish the lengthy round trip to find out. But there was no other option!
"Having no desire to drive in a permanent crouch position, Brownfools swivel seat base had to go. We subsequently had a superb, lower profile swivel unit fitted by a helpful chap at Cresland Engineering in Weston-super-Mare (01934 622297), who manufacture their own units."
The Hand-over
"Collection day at last. March 3rd was cold and snow lined the road from Screwup station to the Brownfools site. Upon arrival I waited for the Ironing Board who, when he appeared wanted to start with the 'paperwork', including payment of the balance. I, sensibly, wanted to see the vehicle.
"Following my inspection of our lovely new 'Y' reg Hymer, I returned to reception with a list of things that were not as they should be.
"The 'special show offer' included an additional window in the luton. Where was it? Ditto for the double entrance step. Our van sported only the standard single step. We had also ordered additional 240v and 12v sockets at the rear of the living area. These were fitted but the workmanship was of a very poor standard (Brownfools standard, standard). Later in the day I was to discover that the 12v socket was effectively unusable as Brownfools had wired it into the water pump circuit on a 5a fuse.
"Complaints were made, rectifications were promised, discounts were given. The balance was paid. Not once, during all this did it occur to me that they had given us the wrong vehicle!"
Post Collection
"Having experienced the quality (or lack of it) of Brownfools work we were reluctant to allow their staff to cut through the exterior bodywork and fit the additional window that was ordered for us. This was to prove a bonus when I damaged the existing luton window while in Cornwall. We just had Brownfools send us the other one (which somehow they managed to achieve without error) and I changed it myself!
"Silly me! I drove our 'Y' reg Hymer for seven years before discovering that It was the wrong van! Perhaps I should have smelled a rat when we got a recall notice for a Swift Sundance that wasn't ours. Anyhow, having found that the chassis number on the V5C did not match that on the van we had LOTS of grief with the DVLA.
"This only came to light as a result of Transport for London (TfL) insisting that our motorgroan was not compliant with the Low Emission Zone (LEZ), and wanting to fine me £200 a day every time I took it off the drive. According to them it had something entirely different to the Sofim 2.8 JTD (Euro III compliant) engine that sits under the bonnet.
"I had to send the DVLA my V5C with the correct details written in section 7 (the changes section). That was to be the last time I saw the V5C for that registration. In a nutshell our 'Y' registration number does not exist (funny how they accepted £VED every year without question).
"Following inspection by a gentleman from the DVLAs local office, our vehicle had to be taken off the road pending re-registration, a painfully long process. Incredibly, the DVLA, who insisted that because the vehicle had never been properly registered they were treating this as a first registration, insisted that I provide proof of age. Obviously they could have obtained this from Fiat. But no, I had to obtain this from Fiat and send it to the DVLA!
"So I contacted Fiat, who wanted to see a copy of the V5C before they would send out any details. A problem as I no longer had it! They could have obtained this from the DVLA. But no.............
"The upshot is that the DVLA have assigned an 'age related registration' to the vehicle that, for too long was stagnating on the driveway, using the date of manufacture of the chassis as their reference. So now, without changing vehicles, we have an 'X' reg Hymer! We also have consequential loss of resale value and a barely controllable urge to strangle someone at Brownfools."
"The DVLA sent us a replacement V5C which told us that the vehicle was manufactured in 2000 and first registered in 1920! Hmmm! Inefficiency is infectious."
"Then, to satisfy TfL, we had to get Fiat UK to certify that the vehicle really did have the 2.8 JTD engine fitted and was thus compliant with their LEZ!"
Latest
Just to rub salt into the, already very raw, wounds and showing that the DVLAs incompetence is a strong challenger for Brownfools crown, they have now sent me TWO "V11" forms for me to renew the tax disc on the vehicle. One for X683 CNO and one for Y902 DRA!
I fully expect that I will shortly receive a fine for failing to tax Y902 DRA, followed by a day in court! Is there any end to the misery incurred by buying from Brownfools?
Brownfools Incompetence Victim.
Where to find us
Brownfools is shrinking! Visit your local Brownfools soon - before it closes!
Screwup, Lots
Swindle, Witlesshire (closed)
Can't erbury (mothballed)
Press-on (Stop Press...Closed)
Duh! ram
