Club Brownfools
Hello! And welcome from Club Brownfools. This is YOUR club! We want our customers to experience a feeling of belonging, to be happy and relaxed in surroundings conducive to the repeated depleting of your bank accounts (or as we call it, return business). So lie back and think of trading up.
Airide air suspension - a review
The Brownfools van has been fitted with the Airide air suspension. What do we think of it? Click the link below to read our review!
...and if one green bottle...
It is with genuine apathy that, due to being in dire financial negative profit, Brownfools announce the immediate closure of its site at Swindle, Witless-shire.
Following hot on the heels of our "mothballing" of our former site at Can'terbury, this reduces our remaining unsustainable sites to just three.
A Brownfools spokesperson mumbled " The lamps are going out all over the Brownfools map. Any customer with defective lamps should be assured that Brownfools Aftersales department will deny any liability for this problem."
Anyone with a collection of Brownfools brochure maps should now consider them a collectors item. If you haven't got one showing three sites you should act quickly as.............. Oh! Too late. another one's just gone out!
Press-on in darkness. The former Hymer UK site is no more. A proud past, consigned to history by the implosion of Brownfools.
Where next? Duh! (ram)??
Brownfools in the Community
* * BROWNFOOLS SPONSORSHIP * * 2010/11
Brownfools were proud to be "Matchball" sponsors for the F.A. Cup tie between Dagenham and Redbridge FC and Leyton Orient on Saturday 6th October 2010.
Brownfools were delighted to be supporting our local club on another big day as they took on their local rivals Leyton Orient in the first round proper of the nations most prestigious football tournament. Brownfools were represented on the day by David and Prew and were joined at the London Borough of Barking and Dagenham Stadium by our competition winners Steve Tyler and his son Kai.
The Daggers drew 1-1 on the day were beaten 3-2 in the replay at Brisbane Road. Our thanks to all who entered the competition. And, for those who were unsuccessful this time, there may be another opportunity later in the season!
The matchday programme. Nice to see the Brownfools logo above the competition sponsor e-on! Your local football club probably exists on a limited budget. Why not help them - and have a great day out by enquiring about sponsorship packages.
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After the game. We were joined by "Man of the match" Mark Arber, who presented the signed matchball to Kai and Steve. Click on the picture to enlarge. Follow the fortunes of Mark and the Daggers here!
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Previous years sponsorship
2009/10
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Brownfools is proud to be the Home Kit sponsor of rising football star ALEX BENTLEY! Alex wears the No. 2 shirt for League Two playoff final winners DAGENHAM and REDBRIDGE FC. Follow the fortunes of Alex and the Daggers here! Alex, seen here flanked by Connor and David from Brownfools.co.uk was signed by Daggers manager John Still at the start of the 2009/10 season. Click the picture to enlarge. |
Chassis Failure Warning - Autoroller 200
Owners of new Autoroller 200s are being urged to check the integrity of their rear chassis following the reported catastrophic failure of the chassis extensions on a brand new Autoroller 200 low-profile purchased from Brownhills Swindon branch. The failure caused the rear wall of the coachbuilt to crack on it's first outing. Click here to read correspondence from the owner.
Club Brownfools Cards
Your new Club Brownfools gold (and blue and red and green...) cards are now available. You don't even have to visit Brownfools to collect them! Simply download them on the link below, print them onto card (we recommend at least 210gsm textured card) and you can carry the Brownfools card wherever you travel. Proudly display your Club Brownfools card at campsites and rallies.
Download Club Brownfools card.
Brownfools welcomes the first entries to its new "Links" page. See below.
Some of you have asked for extra copies of the A5 leaflets that appeared at the Shepton showground. You can download them here They print two copies to an A4 page. Simply cut down the middle and hey presto! Two A5 copies.
SAFETY CRITICAL RECALL
The miss-registration of a Hymer motorshenanigan by Brownfools continues to cause concern. It has been some years since the Swift group, who still believe that the webmaster is a customer of theirs (No, it's a Hymer CS 524, honest!), first sent the webmaster a recall notice for a motorshenanigan that they believe was sold to the webmaster by Brownfools.
The recall notice contains the line "The modification is safety critical", gives details of the modification and full details of the vehicle (model, serial number and CRM reference). The webmaster received three of these in quick succession, spoke to them on the phone and assured them that the vehicle was not, and never had been, owned by him. They were adamant that it was. "OK," he said. "If the vehicle belongs to me, what is its registration number?" And they told him!
This week he received another, identical recall notice. This would imply that the modification to the vehicle has not been carried out. Hardly surprising, as the owner may be blissfully unaware that there is a problem.
The webmaster expressed his concerns regarding this to Swift in 2005 and, more recently, to the DVLA. Both would seem to have done nothing!
So, if you own, or know who owns, a Swift Suntor 590RS UK, serial number /MH1148, CRM reference 179100, which may (or may not be, knowing Brownfools and the DVLA) registered as Y359 DAU, please email me webmaster@brownfools.co.uk AS A MATTER OF URGENCY. I will be happy to forward the notice to you.
The most recent notice can be viewed here.
There is, potentially, a very serious safety fault with this vehicle. Lets try to find the owners before it catches up with them!
Update (05/12/08).
Swift assure me that I will not receive any more recall notices. However neither they, nor the DVLA have the details of the current owner! The Swift group have obviously tried their best to resolve this (my thanks to Kath) but are reliant on correct information from the DVLA. So, it's still out there somewhere. Keep 'em peeled!
Sport Report
DVLA CHALLENGE BROWNFOOLS IN TITLE RACE
The DVLA have made a strong challenge for Brownfools title of Most Inept Organization following an amazing own goal.
The agency, having deemed that the webmasters motorgroan was never correctly registered by Brownfools when new and, having insisted that the eight-year old vehicle must be treated as a first registration (now X683 CNO), have sent the webmaster TWO V11 forms for payment of Vehicle Excise Duty (VED - also known as Road Fund Licence or Tax Disc). One for Y902 DRA and one for X683 CNO.
Full Details under "Latest" on the Brownfools Sales page.
Anagram Competition
The anagram competition is now closed. Many of you found it difficult to use all the letters and there were some entries that left letters out.
We were looking for the most inspiring or interesting anagram of "Brownhills Motorhomes (Newark) Ltd", or "Brownhills Motorhomes (Newark) Limited". All of you who entered opted for the latter to increase the number of available vowels. We wonder if there was some joint efforts as there were a number of similar entries. We were also struck by the creative use of the brackets!
We will be choosing a winner from the ten short-listed below. Where an entry has not used all the letters those left out are shown in green after the entry. So, the finalists (in no particular order) are;
a) Bloomin Worthless Dealer Mi MH Not W()rk I
b) Is This Lemon Dealer Worth Blommin Work
c) Now Think Motorhome Disas()er Brew Mill L
d) (MM)s Bloomin North Dealer Work Is Hit Wel
e) Mi Lemon Dealers Work Is No Worth Thimbl()
f) Bin Like Own Motorhome Disaster HMMLRW
g) Is This Blommin Dealer() Work Worth Lemon
h) Mi Bloomin Witless MH Dealer() Nor Worth K
i) Mi Own Motorhome Disaster Brewin HKLLL
j) North Dealer Is Now Like Worm Shit Bomm L
Our thanks to all who took part.
Update: We decided that, in keeping with the spirit of anagram competitions, the the winner should be an entry that succeeded in using all the letters of the original phrase. And so, after careful consideration, the winner is.....
Mi Lemon Dealers Work Is No Worth Thimbl() Congratulations go to Steve Swift of Canning Town, London, who has chosen to receive £25 in Tesco vouchers. They are on their way.
Project
I am in the process producing a searchable spreadsheet (similar to the LPG finder - see below) for the locating of campsites. It would require the user to enter his or her location (current or expected) and would then list the nearest 10 sites with details of location, facilities, contact details etc.
At this stage I have designed the "front end" (or user interface, if you prefer) together with the working formulas and some limited campsite data for testing purposes ( a dozen Caravan Club sites). This test version is downloadable here. Before proceeding further with data input, I would be interested in hearing from anyone who might find the finished project useful and may wish to suggest changes or improvements.
I will be looking, over time, to include all CC Club sites and CLs. All constructive comments gratefully received. Thanks in advance for your interest, input and feedback!
Downloads
And now......... here is something that really is useful from Club Brownfools! Downloads!!
One of our former customers (and some really intelligent people have been fooled into buying from us!) has written these handy excel spreadsheets for use by motorgroan owners with laptops.
Firstly there is a spreadsheet to find your TV transmitter. It takes the guesswork out of the task of setting up your aerial while touring. Just input your position and hey presto! It tells you where to point your aerial, whether or not you need to tip it over to "vertical" and what channels to tune to! Download it here. See below for instructions on saving to your PC.
The second spreadsheet is again for the telly, but for areas that have gone, or will be going, digital! Digital TV is great BUT you can't swing the aerial around looking for a picture with digital. You have to know which direction to point first! Download the solution here. See below for instructions on saving to your PC.
Thirdly, you've guessed it, a spreadsheet! This one is for those people with refillable LPG cylinders. And, you've guessed it again, just enter your position and, as if by magic, the spreadsheet lists your ten nearest LPG retailing forecourts, their location, distance and opening hours. Download it here! See below for instructions on saving to your PC.
And finally, yes, a spreadsheet! Use this one if you're one of those unlucky people who see two flashes in your mirror when you pass one of those irritating yellow GRGs (Government Revenue Generators), even though you were not exceeding the limit! Don't pay Greedy Gordon for something you haven't done. Download it here! See below for instructions on saving to your PC.
Also includes a facility to check the accuracy of your speedometer.
Saving to your PC
All these spreadsheets are password protected. So, to use them, just click "Read Only" when the box appears. To save them, click on "File" then "Save As", navigate to the location (folder) that you want to save it in then click "Save".
Links and Photos
"Links" contains links to other websites covering a diverse variety of topics. In "Photo Gallery" you will find a collection of our images for your entertainment and pleasure.
